The Writer In Me

It’s been more than a couple of weeks since I posted my story online and I can’t help but “shiver” (yes I’m trying to say ‘kilig’ in the closest sense of the word) with excitement and pleasure everytime I get a review alert, story alert and more so a favorite author alert.  In fact whenever I get an alert for the latter I’m always near tears!  Pathetic?  I dunno.  Maybe after receiving more than 50 favorite author alerts I might not feel the same way anymore.  Maybe I’ll just say “Oh, wow!” smile and move on to my next e-mail as if that kind of thing happens everyday.  Well maybe by the time that happens; it will be something close to that. 

Still that’s beside the point. 

The thing is the feeling of someone appreciating you in that way is pure satisfaction:  especially for a writer’s point of view.  It’s like; “Wow!”.  I mean that’s fan-mail you know.  And even when I don’t receive alerts but when I check the traffic and see that people still take time to read my story I just feel, so…well, fulfilled.  Nothing can inspire me more than that. 

Well not really; I can get inspired by other things but I think you catch my drift.  I suppose what I meant is:  nothing can make me itch to start writing a new story ASAP than something like that.

Anyway, I know I’m rambling again.  But I just want to get at least some of the overflowing happiness off my chest.  I’ve got no-where else or no-way else I can express it in other than through writing.  Nothing is more accessible to me than that right now.  It’s not like my close peers at present can understand its importance, and the happiness that writing gives me.  Besides, it’s hard to share my joy half-way since I can’t share the root as well as the fruit.  I think I must’ve lost you there.  Imagine this dialogue:

 

Me:  O-M-G!  I just received a new review for my story!  I’m so happy!  And I have 20 new visitors today! (swoons)

Friend:  Oh really?  Cool!  Hey I haven’t read that story of yours, where can I find it?

Me:  Uhm…aaahh…well….you might not be interested in reading it.  I mean, it’s not something that you would read, you know?! (fumbles with her fingers, eyes darting side-to-side)

Friend:  Huh?  But it seems as though a lot of people actually read it.  You’ve had what?  More than 1000 hits already. I’m sure it’s fine.

Me:  Uhm, well…I’m pretty confident about it.  But well…the thing is the plot might not be something that you would be interested in.

Friend:  I can read just about anything you know and it’s not like I’m going to critique your grammar or something.  Although knowing you I’m sure you’ve proofread it several times before posting it.

Me:  Of course!  You know how OC I am when it comes to that.

Friend:  See?  So what’s the problem?

Me:  Well…you’ll get bored.  I mean it’s FanFiction.  You might not even be familiar with the characters.

Friend:  I know what FanFiction is.  I’ve read several of them on the net.  So which characters did you use?

Me:  Uhm…Prince of Tennis?

Friend:  Really?  Cool!  I know Prince of Tennis!  I’ve been watching the series!

Me:  Well, it’s not the typical storyline for Prince of Tennis.  It has a romantic twist…

Friend:  Oh really?  Who did you pair up?  Ryoma and Sakuno?  Not much girls in that series you know.

Me:  Uhm, well no.  Not really.

Friend:  Hmm?  So what’s the “romantic twist” you’re talking about?

Me:  Uhm…

Friend:  C’mon now!  Just spill it!

Me:   Uhm…well…

Friend: (impatiently tapping foot on floor, eyebrows knitting in irritation)

Me: (sweating nervously)

Friend:  (eyes boring sharply)

Me:  Well….

Friend:  You know what?!  If you don’t trust me…

Me:  (sucker for “friends-trust-each-other-undoubtedly-guilt-trip”) Fine!  Fine!

Friend:  So?!  Who did you pair up?

Me:  Tezuka and Echizen.

Friend:  (blank look)

Me:  It’s Yaoi.

Friend:  Oh.

(awkward silence)

 

My friends might find it hard to digest the fact that I’m willing to explore just about any kind of topic for the sake of writing a good story.  It’s not like I’m putting too much effort into thinking about the plot.  It’s more like I’m not limiting myself to the kinds of story that I want to write.  Of course I put limits on the story itself but I don’t filter it in my head.  So what if I’m straight?  That doesn’t mean I can’t write about same-gender love affairs.  So what if I’m a girl?  That doesn’t mean I can’t write my story from a guy’s POV.  So what if I’m living a boring life as a recruitment coordinator?  That doesn’t mean that I can’t create an exciting world for my characters to move in.

 

I guess you can say that, I’m that kind of writer.  Or I’m that kind of story-teller.  I love how the mind can be uninhibited and you can create worlds beyond what you see.  Making the impossible, possible and even ironically; the possible, unthinkable.